


euphoria

by insertfandomjoke



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Coming Out, M/M, Misgendering, Nonbinary Character, accidental - bc the character hasnt come out yet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-09
Updated: 2019-12-09
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:47:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21726259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/insertfandomjoke/pseuds/insertfandomjoke
Summary: emotional vulnerability, two insecure partners and the discovery of euphoria.(in which logan comes out to their boyfriend)
Relationships: Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders
Comments: 5
Kudos: 81





	euphoria

Roman shifts closer into Logan’s side and their whole body feels warm. Content. Happy. Roman continues chatting with the others but Logan remains silent, relishing in their boyfriend’s presence. 

Everything is perfect, but…

“Isn’t my boyfriend the cutest?” Roman announces to the room as he absentmindedly strokes Logan’s hair. Logan tries not to flinch, tries to choke down the feeling of wrongness.

Virgil grunts an affirmation and Patton coos. “He sure is!”

Logan twitches. Their hand flexes. Tightens. Roman sends them a questioning look and they quickly withdraw, schooling their features from discomfort to neutral, un-tensing their shoulders and releasing their breath.

Roman knows them better than that, though.

“Excuse us,” he mutters to the others, before standing up.

Logan wonders, briefly, if they upset him. If they were being a nuisance.

Roman dismisses those thoughts when he offers Logan a hand, pulling them up, pressing them close, kissing them quick, and then leading them up the stairs.

The hallway is quiet, enclosed, safe. The screaming in their brain quiets.

“Is everything okay?” He murmurs, eyes scanning Logan’s face.

Logan likes that about Roman - likes how he gets to the point, likes how he understands what Logan’s feeling when sometimes even they don’t. 

But this. This is hard. Emotional vulnerability had never been their strong suit. They had been content to store away their affection for Roman, to file it under “infinitesimal chance of happening” alongside Virgil’s various worries of the sun exploding or fear that Thomas wearing a blue shirt would make his friends hate him.

It had been Roman to take the first step at almost every part of their relationship - flirting, confessing, dating. It had been Roman to ease their fears - and yes, it turns out they did, in fact, fear - of not being good enough, of not being  _ enough.  _ Roman had never pushed them, of course, only paved the way. Provided the opportunity. Took the first step, asked the first question, and left it up to Logan to decide.

And here Logan stands now, wishing they could consult Virgil.

On one hand, Logan understands that you should communicate with your partner and that their discomfort -  _ dysphoria  _ \- will never ease until they come out. On the other hand, Logan knows the statistics. The Williams Institute found that only 0.6% of America’s adults identified as transgender in 2016, and a little over a third of  _ that  _ identified as non-binary.

When they had first learned about that, it had reminded them of science in elementary, learning about the limited available freshwater. Something like 70% of the Earth is water, 3% of that is fresh and 1% of that is accessible - over the years the numbers’ accuracies have faded, but Logan remembers the feeling of being so  _ small. _

Then they look up at Roman, so full of concern and  _ love _ , and they decide to forget about the statistics.

They need to take other things into consideration. Roman has several trans and non-binary friends and not once has Roman shown any sign of disgust, discomfort or disrespect towards them. Logan knows for a fact that the first time someone came out to Roman with they/them pronouns, Roman pulled an all-nighter to practise using them.

He had even gotten Logan to quiz him. (And now that they think about it, hearing those pronouns is probably what made them begin to realise, all those years ago, but that wasn’t relevant right now.)

“Logan, please,” Roman pleads, causing Logan to blink and refocus. “Did I do something to make you uncomfortable? You’re my boyfriend, I just want to-”

White noise fills Logan’s ears and the tightness in their chest builds until they finally blurt out, “I’m non-binary.”

Roman falls silent for a millisecond. Logan has half a mind to turn around and walk away, but they had never approved of Virgil’s  _ hide-and-the-problem-might-go-away  _ method. Hypocrisy is something they generally frowned upon too.

“I’m so sorry,” Roman says. Logan’s brow furrows. “How long have you-?”

“Only a few months,” Logan answers. “You don’t need to be sorry.”

Roman purses his lips, like he wants to apologise again, but he shakes his head and takes a deep breath instead. “Okay. Alright - can I ask what your pronouns are?”

“They/them.”

“And are you- do you still want to-”

Insecurity is an odd look on Roman. It’s not an uncommon one, but that doesn’t change the fact that every time Logan sees the crease between his eyebrows form and his shoulders hunch, they want to soothe their partner and assure him that he is  _ enough. _

“Date you?” Logan guesses. Roman nods, wringing his hands together. “Of course,” they answer, then as an afterthought, “if you still want to date me.”

Roman slumps into them, throwing his arms around them. His hair tickles Logan’s neck, but they don’t mind in the slightest. “I never want to stop,” he confesses.

Something blooms inside their chest - not tightness, not wrongness, but something warm. Euphoric.

They stay like that for a minute or so. Logan’s too overcome with relief to care as they both begin to heat up. Floridian summer is not fond of prolonged contact.

“One last question, if that’s alright,” Roman begins as he pulls back. 

“Anything.”

He pauses. Logan can tell he’s mulling over his words, choosing them carefully, and they’ve never been more thankful to have someone as considerate as Roman in their life.

“Do you want to tell our friends? It’s okay if you don’t, but do you want me to use your pronouns in front of them or find a way to avoid pronouns altogether? Should I call you my partner?”

“That was at least three questions.” Logan sees Roman go to open his mouth and cuts him off. “Don’t apologise. I’m… glad that you want me to be comfortable. And, uh, I guess I should. I’ve been meaning to tell them for a while, but I wanted you to know first. So, I suppose I should get it over and done with. And that would make me happy - being your partner.”

Logan’s words may be stilted, uncharacteristically stuffed full of emotions, awkward as all hell, but.

But.

A few minutes later, after they come out to everyone, hearing Roman say, “Isn’t my partner the sweetest?” fills them with such euphoria that Logan supposes maybe emotional vulnerability is alright.

**Author's Note:**

> this was also posted on my tumblr @notafeeling
> 
> let me know if you enjoyed this!


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